if only i could text you this smell
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
