Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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