even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
