so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
