I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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