Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
