I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
