I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
