Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
