yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
