Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
