also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize