Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize