Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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