So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
