he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
