she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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