Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
