oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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