Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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