"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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