is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
