I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
