Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
