so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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