with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
