Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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