she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Randomize
