I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
