i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
