Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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