we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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