I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
