i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
