she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
