yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
