i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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