i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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