i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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