Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
