i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
