I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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