And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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