I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
