So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
