break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
