Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
