Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
