Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
