p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
