trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
