The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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