i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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