The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
