HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't think brook has ever known best
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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