i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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