I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
