Already got asked if we're dating
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
