Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So here I am, sexting at work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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