i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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