Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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