i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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